Momma Loves you Miss P.
Please note that the blog post you are about to read was written by a dyslexic dog mama with ADHD. Here’s what’s going on inside my brain…
This post was started the week before our lives changed. After reading it I didn't want to delete my thoughts from then. I will continue so my language will change from present tense to past tense.
It's almost September, and Autumn is my favourite time of year. When this year started I couldn't imagine that our household would go from a family of four down to two.
This Spring we said goodbye to Mackay. That week was hard, it wasn't just about saying goodbye to him but the fear of being judge.
In January, we discovered a lump on Miss P, I knew then it wasn't good. With the passing of Mackay, those days afterwards the energy changed in the house. There was a new calm a breath of ease.
Piper, Willow and I found our new routine.
I recall an evening when I was getting ready for our nighttime routine. That night I closed the blinds as I knew a lighting storm was brewing. Turned out that night my area even got an alert for a tornado. As I said goodnight to Miss P and prayed that she would be fast asleep before the storm hit as she panics with thunder. Then instantly become a neck warmer as of course the safest place to be in around mom's head.
Willow and I were comfy in bed and then I heard miss ps feet. She was heading up the stairs. Right up beside me was miss p, I looked at her and said momma needs to have a chat with you.
I held her and whispered in her ear. Momma loves you. Momma will be okay if you need to close your eyes for one last time. It's okay, as momma doesn't want you to be in pain or suffer. Willow and I will miss you but you will get to meet so many loved ones. They are waiting for you. At that point, she licked my face and gave me a look of not yet momma.
In the last month, a shift has been happening. Piper has been opening space for Willow to grow and learn a new role in the family. I have found it interesting to watch and see what is taking place. Then it dawned on me. Piper was training Willow how to be my support dog.
It was then when I realized Piper was letting me know it was time. I didn't want to admit it nor did I didn't want to say goodbye. (holding tears back as I write)
So once again, I made the call and booked her respectful goodbye.
When we said goodbye to Mackay it was so different, I had organized a photographer to come out and a close friend was with us.
For Piper, I didn't want anyone around. Just her and I! Of course, Willow was there.
Our planned goodbye took place on August 31, 2022, at noon.
The three of us left our home for one last time. One last car ride, one last moment.
I held Piper until her head was on my shoulder and as I heard her last breath I whispered in her ear momma loves you over and over.
The first picture is called Guardian number 5, which is the name of the print. created by Gooseberry prints based in Toronto On.
The second is from Miss P and I on the CBC life show. I was so proud of her and she played up the camera crew like a star.
Miss P, Piper, flapper and spaz. momma will always love you.
March 2012- August 2022